With its gifted location and state-of-the-art facilities, Bürgenstock Resort is the ideal place for a wellbeing holiday this summer. Here guests enjoy Fresh Alpine air, majestic mountains and peaceful silence, and have the chance to experience specific treatments and packages designed to help you relax, unwind and revitalise.

Bürgenstock is home to the Alpine Spa, 10,000 sqm of impressive wellbeing space, including four pools and the Infinity Edge outdoor pool, with an impressive water circuit and breathtaking views of the mountains and the lake beneath. There are also different types of saunas, cold plunges and Kneipp walks. The experts at Bürgenstock have designed a series of hydrotherapy journeys for guests to maximise the benefits of hydrothermal bathing, depending on the desired outcome: to relax, regenerate or activate. The spa is also equipped with 13 treatment rooms, so you are practically guaranteed to be able to book any time.

The Infinity Edge outdoor pool at the Alpine Spa features a water circuit, where you can ease muscle and joint pain as well as stimulate blood circulation.

The Alpine Spa works with some of the best skincare brands in the world to offer a range of treatments to suit any issue you may want to address. One of my favourites is the 111Skin Reparative Facial, formulated to calm and sooth damaged, inflamed skin. It was created by international plastic surgeon Dr Yannis Alexandrides to accelerate post-surgery healing. In this facial, the therapist uses exclusive 111Skin products such as NAC Y², a complex that strengthens the epidermal barrier, among others from the 111Skin Reparative Collection. The result is skin that feels immediately firmer, is visibly more radiant and shows a reduction in fine lines.      

A very special package on offer is Discovering Dr Burgener, a 2.5-hour experience by the prestigious Swiss laboratory. It includes a 90-minute Anti-ageing Body Ritual with Pearls of Grape, a revolutionary combination of exfoliation, wraps and massage. A Purity Balance facial follows, which deals with imperfections and leaves your skin feeling totally refreshed. Then you are invited to a freshly made detox drink and last, the Alpine Spa circuit. So you can prolong the effects of this experience, you receive a collection of Dr Burgener Essentials to take home.

Yoga gurus Merte and Mate will be leading the Sky High Yoga & Brunch experience at Bürgenstock on 18^th August.

Outdoor yoga, stretching and aqua fitness are some of the regular classes that guests at Bürgenstock can enjoy. For example, on 18^th August, the resort is hosting a thrilling half day Sky High Yoga & Brunch. Held outside, with the view of the Alpine meadows and Lake Lucerne, the experience is led by yoga gurus Merte and Mate. Following the class, guests will enjoy an energising brunch at Palace Terrace, featuring fresh infusions and delicious healthy food options.

Pool at the Waldhotel Health & Wellbeing, part of the Bürgenstock Resort, a world-class hideaway where you can recover from surgery, accelerate rehabilitation or simply, recharge your batteries with the help of expert professionals.

Part of the Bürgenstock Resort is the Walhotel Health & Wellbeing, where a team of experts led by Prof. Dr. med. Verena Briner is at hand to conduct cardiovascular diagnostics, assess your mobility and address weight and metabolism concerns. They can also review your genetic markers and lifestyle profile before recommending a tailored combination of examinations and treatments, including diet.

So basically, if the year so far has proved to be taxing on your physical and mental health, a few days at Bürgenstock Resort is the indulgence you need to reset your body and mind and go back home stronger than ever before.

Author: Julia Pasarón

Despite of all the information out there, it seems suncare remains a major blind spot for Brits. Based on research by La Roche-Posay*published a few weeks ago, here I unveil the most common misunderstanding on the topic and suggest a list of products that will help you avoid sun damage and help your skin and hair look the best this summer.

Among the shocking fact and figures revealed by this research, it appears that more than 25 percent of 25–34-year-olds think you can’t get sunburned within the first 30 minutes of being outside. The truth is that with high levels of UV radiation, fair skin can start burning in as little as 10 minutes. Even more are convinced that suncare is only needed in summer. A staggering 34 percent believe that sun rays can’t hurt you through glass. Although UVB rays, – the ones that burn you – are largely blocked by glass, more than half of UVA rays – responsible for skin ageing – go through. Both contribute to skin cancer.

A quick way to remember which UV rays cause what, is to think that “A” is for ageing and “B” for burning. UVA activate melanin, which makes the skin tan. In the case of UVB rays, they help produce vitamin D.

Our hair is also subject to damage by UV radiation as they harm the hair fibre. Dryness, straw texture, brittleness, bleaching, decreased lustre… all can be caused by sun exposure. Photochemical degradation of the hair results in substantial damage to hair proteins and melanins.

There are many products in the market claiming to help you avoid sun damage, so it can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. As someone who grew up and worked for a long time in very sunny latitudes, I believe I know quite a bit about which products are best to avoid sun damage. Here is what you’ll find in my beach bag this summer:

LA ROCHE-POSAY ANTHELIOS UVMUNE 400 SPF50+ & ANTHELIOS INVISIBLE SPRAY SPF30

I wear a high SPF lotion on my face all year round under my foundation, but when temperatures start going up, I prefer just an all-in-one product, and the best I’ve tried so far are always from La Roche-Posay. This season my choice is La Roche-Posay Anthelios UVMune 400 50+ tinted fluid. It has a very light texture, gives a bit of coverage and provides a lovely natural finish.

Shake before use and if you are going to the pool or the beach, remember to reapply regularly, especially if you spend a lot of time in the water. Added bonus: it doesn’t make your eyes sting.

As I am from Mediterranean descent, unless I am in a tropical destination, I use SPF30, in this case La Roche-Posay Anthelios 30 invisible spray. Specifically formulated for sensitive skin, this is an extremely light and non-greasy lotion that doesn’t smear at all. It protects not only from UV rays but from infrared too, which is a type of radiation that induces free radicals in the skin and limits its antioxidant capacity. Added bonus: it smells heavenly and little goes a very long way.

AVANT SUPREME HYALURONIC ACID ANTI-OXIDISING DUO MOISTURISER & 111SKIN ROSE GOLD BRIGHTENING MASK

As important as it is to protect your skin in the sun is to protect it afterwards, especially your face. Exposure to the sun and high temperatures will always cause some level of skin dehydration regardless of how carefully you protect it. Hyaluronic acid is great at retaining water and it helps your skin stretch and flex. This is why it is so good at reducing the appearance of wrinkles and fine lines. The new Avant Supreme Hyaluronic Acid Anti-Oxidising Duo Moisturiser contains high-potency hyaluronic acid as well as avocado and jojoba oils. These three ingredients work together to promote hydration, healing and collagen synthesis. Expect smoother, softer skin with a renewed glow. On application it feels very light and cooling, ideal after a day in the sun. Added bonus: it can b used day and/or night.

When exposing my skin to the hardships of summer, I turn to 111Skin Rose Gold Brightening Mask once a week for a power boost. This hydrogel mask contains a cocktail of high-potency compounds – including a substrate of Botulinum extract – that firm the skin and plump fine lines and wrinkles whilst soothing inflammation and irritation produced by sun exposure. Adde bonus: immediate “red carpet” radiance.

AVANT RECONSTRUCTING KERATIN COMPLEX ULTRA SHINE HAIR CREAM

Chlorine, seawater and sun exposure are very harsh on hair. By the end of summer, most of us have hair resembling a bird’s nest. Not this year, Avant Reconstructing Keratin Complex leaves your hair smooth and radiant thanks to its unique formulation with keratin and sweet almond. Castor oil and sea algae stimulate growth while aloe vera reduces scalp irritation and promotes exfoliation thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties. This wonder ingredient also promotes skin cell renewal, hydration and collagen formation.

The texture is surprisingly light. Use on damp hair after shampoo and conditioner. You’ll find your hair immediately lush, shiny and frizz-free. Added bonus: you won’t need to purchase more than one in the whole summer as a walnut-size dollop is enough for even very long hair.

SENSAI BRONZING GEL SPF6

To finish, a little allowance for vanity. Available in three shades, Sensai Bronzing Gel gives your face a wonderful bronze sheer with a silky finish. Its texture is not only light but extremely refreshing as it is 70 percent water. Therefore, it has remarkable hydrating properties.

This bronzing gel is particularly popular with men, as it doesn’t stain, doesn’t look at all like make up but provides a bit of colour and brightness to any complexion.

Before I go, remember that whether you are spending this summer in town, the mountains, or the seaside, the risk of sun damage is always there, but it is easily avoidable with a bit of common sense and products like the ones featured here.

Words: Julia Pasarón

(*) The research for La Roche-Posay was carried out online by Opinion Matters between 19.06.2024 – 21.06.2024 amongst a panel resulting in 2,000 nationally representative respondents.

Until the 26^th of July, a delegation from the Diriyah Company is at Harrods London showing models of the 14km² development considered by most as a pioneering example of future urban planning. The intention is to transform this ancestral site 15 minutes from downtown Riyadh into a global hub for business, culture, heritage, and tourism; with the environment and the wellbeing of its inhabitants at the forefront of its priorities.

Diriyah is the birthplace of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and the ancestral home to the Al Saud family, who founded the First Saudi State here in 1727. At its centre, we find the UNESCO World Heritage Site of At-Turaif, an urban settlement built around an oasis, back in the 15^th century. It was built in the Nadji architectural style, typical of the centre of the Arabian Peninsula.

The traditional Nadji style is characterised by the use of adobe and Athel wood, as well as by its geometric decorations.

The same style has been followed in the building of modern Diriyah, which bears witness to the traditional method that was so well adapted to the local environment, based on using mostly adobe and geometrical decorations. As Group CEO Jerry Inzerillo told me in an interview a few months ago, “By using local materials like mud, stone, and Athel wood, inspired by the techniques used in At-Turaif, we ensure the project not only respects but also reflects the area’s rich heritage and environmental integrity.”

From the left: lounge of a Ritz-Carlton villa and pool area of a Baccarat villa.

By the time this USD 63.2 billion project is completed, it will have the capacity to host 100,000 people and attract more than 50 million visitors a year. Completely pedestrian (massive underground parking across the city), Diriyah will have a great offer of residences, such as those already finished by luxury hotel brands Ritz-Carlton, Corinthia and Baccarat, and large plots in the ultra-luxury are of Wadi Safar, where a 27-hole Greg Norman gold course is being built. Everything you may need for daily life will be within 10-15 minutes’ walk: schools, supermarkets, boutiques, museums, sport centres… In terms of connections, there will be three underground lines and a direct train to the international airport.

Exterior view of the Corinthia Residences Diriyah, built in the traditional Nadji style.

Visitors can choose from more than 40 five-star hotels in Diriyah, as well as enjoy world-class amenities, lush green spaces, recreational areas and high-end shopping. First class dining is guaranteed at Bujairi Terrace, which was inaugurated in December 2022, where residents and visitors to Diriyah can enjoy the best cuisine from all over the world. Outstanding examples include the Michelin-starred Chez Bruno, Hakkasan, Long Chim and Tatel as well as the iconic French patisserie, Angelina Paris and the Italian pasticceria, Cova.

Bujairi Terrace offers over 15 world-class dining options including Michelin-star restaurants, international franchises, cafes and local Saudi restaurants.

To me though, the soul of Diriyah is in its artistic and cultural richness, which can be observed in the historic palaces and monuments preserved within At-Turaif, the immersive art installations and exhibitions, and the variety of live musical and theatrical performances organised every season. New cultural assets soon opening in the city include Diriyah Art Futures, the first centre in the region devoted to new media and digital arts, and the Royal Opera House commissioned to the award-winning architectural firm, Snøhetta.

Diriyah will be at Harrods only until 26^th July. It is definitely worth a visit to realise what a fascinating place this is and how much it has to offer as a tourist destination and as a place to live. Diriyah Company’s CMO, Kiran Haslam, told me on the day of the inauguration, “This is one of the most striking and exciting collaborations Diriyah has embarked upon. Harrods is best in class.” As the experience is llocated on the groundfloor, it is really accessible for everyone. Kislam added, “Visitors can easily speak to a member of the Diriyah team and explore our master plan, as well as the Ritz Carlton, Corinthia and Baccarat residential projects that are now available to own.”

To learn more about Diriyah, visit: www.diriyah.sa

Author: Julia Pasarón

All photos of Diriyah kindly provided by Diriyah Company.

Harrods, the world’s most famous luxury department store, is marking its 175th anniversary with all manner of exciting celebrations and special-edition products. The Swiss maison of haute horlogerie Vacheron Constantin has joined in with a unique Les Cabinotiers watch presented at an immersive experience titled, Pioneers of the Exceptional.

From the 19^th of June to the 21^st of July, watch lovers will first be awed by Vacheron Constantin’s amazing displays on Harrods’ Hans Crescent windows, which tell the story of the company and its key watch collections. It is here that the synergies between the two brands are best appreciated and why the experience is called Pioneers of the Exceptional. Both started as family businesses, both were pioneers in their fields, and both are at the forefront of their sectors in terms of excellence and innovation.

Pioneers of the Exceptional presents original archive images highlighting the synergies between Harrods and Vacheron Constantin.

THE EXCEPTIONAL VOYAGE

On the 5^th floor of the department store, Vacheron Constantin invites visitors to The Exceptional Voyage, a multi-sensory 4D VR cinema experience* powered by Xydrobe, followed by an exhibition of some of Vacheron Constantin’s most remarkable historical pieces. It is here that the 175 years of history of Harrods blends in, represented by archive images and properties from the iconic department store. The exhibition space itself is pretty unique, inspired by the rarely seen Harrods vaults and the iconic lift with its doorman.

LES CABINOTIERS ARMILLARY TOURBILLON

The heart of the show is a one-off masterpiece of haute horlogerie, a unique edition of Les Cabinotiers Armillary Tourbillon – High Jewellery, crafted in Harrods’ signature colours. Christian Selmoni, Style & Heritage Director at Vacheron Constantin, explained to me why such a choice, “For this unique celebration, it made sense for our maison to create a unique grand complication timepiece part of Les Cabinotiers, our department dedicated to unique pieces – and consequently ultimate exclusivity.”

Made in platinum, the 45mm watch is entirely set with 671 brilliant-cut diamonds (approx. six carats), including on the dial flange and folding clasps. As Christian put it, the watch is “An ode to the maison’s watchmaking art, combining technical mastery and expertise in decorative crafts.”

The main plate and bridges were hollowed in order to feature a marquetry inlay of mother of pearl, dyed in Harrod’s green, which as Christian said, “showcases our creativity and sense for innovation”. The watch is powered by the in-house Calibre 1990, a patented manual-winding movement with a 65-hour power reserve. Retrogrades watches are nothing short of horological marvels, not so much because of the system itself but because of the display. The watch must be equipped with a very complex mechanism to allow the hand to jump back to its initial position. In the case of the Vacheron Constantin Armillary Tourbillon, it features a double retrograde and the hands jump at such speed, that they had to be crafted from titanium to cope with the stress.

The dial-free configuration in the Vacheron Constantin Les Cabinotiers Armillary Tourbillon allows the viewer to admire properly the green mother-of-pearl-encrusted main plate as well as a bi-axial armillary tourbillon, positioned at 9 o’clock.

This exquisite timepiece also presents a bi-axial armillary tourbillon, pioneered by Antide Janvier in the late 18th century, in an astronomical clock with a moving “armillary” sphere. “This spectacular tourbillon is the offspring from two famous bespoke pocket watches,” explained Christian, “namely the ref. 57260 and the Berkley Grand Complication presented at Watches & Wonders this year, the world’s two most complicated watches ever made.”

The regulator has a cylindrical balance spring without a terminal curve – an invention from 1814 by Jacques-Frédéric Houriet, the father of Swiss chronometry – which delivers a perfectly concentric beat and remarkable precision.

Vacheron Constantin’s special escapement – silicon escape-wheel and diamond-coated silicon pallet-lever – can then transmit impulses of 2.5 Hz without unwanted friction and the need for lubrication.

We saw the first Les Cabinotiers Armillary Tourbillon – also a one-off piece – last year on the dashboard of another unique piece, the Rolls-Royce Amethyst Droptail. The one created for Harrods’ 175^th anniversary is probably the only opportunity you’ll have to see such an horological wonder up close… unless you commission your own.

HEADING TO THE BOUTIQUE

After the privilege of admiring Les Cabinotiers Armillary Tourbillon – High Jewellery, Pioneers of the Exceptional continues at the Vacheron Constantin boutique and the Fine Watch room on the ground floor of Harrods. Here, visitors will be able to discover some of the most emblematic timepieces from the Maison’s private collection spanning nearly three centuries, including the Tour de l’Ile, created in 2005 for the Maison’s 250^th anniversary.

Vacheron Constantin Tour de l’Ile double-sided watch in pink gold and guilloché dials. With its 16 complications, this mechanical wonder became one of the first super-complications of our time.

Among the pieces on show at Harrods, there are real jewels, such as the very first wristwatch in the Vacheron Constantin collection – a ladies’ bracelet watch from 1889 – and a Bassine Lentille pocket watch from 1901. Christian’s favourite is the perfume pendant watch from 1885. “I confess I am totally in love with that piece,” he said, “very unique and exclusive, and one that drives us back to a type of watches that have been almost forgotten, even if today such pendant watches are gaining again interest – a very nice example is the Vacheron Constantin Grand Lady Kalla presented this spring at Watches & Wonders, a convertible high jewellery timepiece which can be worn – guess – as a pendant watch!”

Left, ladies’ pomander-shaped chain bracelet watch in solid silver and red gold, silver-toned dial and clasp bearing the signature “Boucheron Paris” – 1885. Middle, round jewellery watch, gem-set bezel, finely chased case middle, enamel dial and carved lugs – 1889. Right, Bassine lentille pocket watch in yellow gold, cloisonné enamel, small seconds, gilt guilloché dial – 1902

Lovers of mid-century design would have the chance to admire extraordinary examples from this period, such as an ultra-thin model from 1955, equipped with the 2.94 mm-thick Calibre 1001 bearing the Hallmark of Geneva and distinguished by its five arabesque bridges. Its precision regulator ranks it among chronometer-quality movements. Another highlight from this time brought to London for this show is a 1966 “Chronomètre Royal” self-winding date piece in yellow gold, with a sunburst silver-toned dial. Don’t miss the “Prestige de la France”, a trapezoid-shaped watch from 1972 which was made to honour the “Diplôme” of the same name that was awarded to Vacheron Constantin that year In 1972, recognising the maison’s expertise, technical acumen and elegance.

Left, ultra-thin watch, small seconds at 6 o’clock, galvanic dial with Maltese cross – 1955. Middle, “Chronomètre Royal” self-winding watch, date, sunburst silver-toned dial – 1966. Right, “Prestige de la France” asymmetrical watch with brushed silver-toned dial – 1972

This and much more await visitors at Pioneers of the Exceptional, Vacheron Constantin’s anniversary homage to Harrods. Book your visit HERE. 

Words: Julia Pasarón

Pioneers of the Exceptional
5^th floor, Harrods
Monday to Saturday: 10:30 am – 8:30 pm. Sunday: 12:00 pm – 5:30 pm

*Screenings take place every 30 minutes

Nostalgia seems to be influencing everything these days, from fashion to accessories, homeware, interior design and even travel destinations. The allure of a rose-tinted past blended with contemporary touches has given place to the rise of a retro-chic culture that we are bringing you here in the form of a selection of gifts for Father’s Day that we hope you find inspiring.  

MAISON GAMES BACKGAMMON SET

Backgammon is one of the oldest board games known to mankind. Played by kings, paupers, artists and thieves, few games have a richer history than Backgammon. From Cary Grant to Brad Pitt, Mick Jagger to Keira Knightley, the game is more popular than ever.

The Amalfi coast backgammon set is adorned with bougainvillea flowers, transporting you to the colourful cliffside village of Positano.

British luxury brand, Maison Games has partnered with Misty Minton (CasaCarta) to offer its customers a collection of travel backgammon sets inspired by some of the most fashionable travel destinations of the 1960s. You have mountain destinations such as Aspen and Gstaad, and iconic beach spots such as St Barth and the Amalfi Coast and even the celebrity packed Beverly Hills. All come in charming gift boxes. Take your pick HERE.

RIMOWA HAMMERSCHLAG LIMITED EDITION 

We love this ultra-hardy, super-cool cabin and hand-carry case set by Rimowa. The collection’s name, meaning “hammer hit”, references the textured aluminium surface that the German luxury luggage manufacturer debuted in 1966.

Both cabin suitcase and the hand-carry case feature an iteration of the original cognac leather handle, the same material from which the tag – each stamped with the date 1898, the year Rimowa was founded – was made. The dual-organisation interior is adorned with a leather zipped compartment on its divider as well as vintage hooks with compression straps. Each piece from the 1898 limited edition is individually numbered. The trolley includes a telescopic handle and multi-wheel system. You can find both at Rimowa and other retailers.

HAMILTON KHAKI FIELD MECHANICAL BRONZE

Military-style accessories always have a bit of a cool retro look. The new Hamilton’s Khaki Field models are no different from their case size – 38mm – to the simple dial design with large numerals, aimed at being easy to read in any weather/light conditions. I have picked the bronze model, as this material, together with the brown leather strap truly echoes the watches made by Hamilton for the military forces of several countries, including the U.S. and Great Britain.

Bronze is also a very hardy alloy, robust and resistant to corrosion, making this watch the perfect choice for a dad who enjoys the outdoors. The white dial (new option) creates a striking contrast with the bronze and leather. As all the other models in the Khaki Field Mechanical family, this one is hand-wound, powered by Hamilton’s H-50 movement and boasts an 80-hour power reserve. Available at Watches of Switzerland and other retailers.

BERLUTI MIX LEATHER BOMBERS

The bomber jacket has its origins in military clothing. It was designed to keep pilots warm, but it had to be also light. They go in and out of fashion regularly and this year, they are definitely in.

Berluti’s latest version takes the concept up by a few notches. It is made of the finest Italian leather and suede, and fully lined in Scritto jacquard cupro. It features a two-way zip opening with one jour leather puller, two front pockets and a knitted collar, cuffs and bottom. I love the little “B” thread embroidery on the chest (heart side). Buy it from Berluti and boutiques at luxury stores.

MONTBLANC MEISTERSTÜCK ORIGIN DOUÉ CLASSIQUE FOUNTAIN PEN

We couldn’t possibly speak about retro-inspired gifts for Father’s Day without including a fountain pen. Unlike in a biro, the ink in a fountain pen flows naturally and the nib adapts to your style of writing to the point that nobody else can really use it comfortably. Each has its own identity, connected to its owner and reflecting its personal style.

Montblanc has become eponymous with the best fountain pens. The Meisterstück collection (a masterpiece in German) celebrates its 100th anniversary this year. For a century, it has been regarded by most as the quintessential fine writing instrument, and the choice of many international dignitaries, captains of industry and world leaders, including Queen Elizabeth II. To celebrate such a milestone, the German luxury brand has launched the Origin collection, drawing inspiration from its rich archives. In fact, the intricate pattern on the green lacquer gold-coated cap, comes from a design from decades ago, that never made it into production. The references to Art Déco are complemented by the clip, which is the same as in many of the earliest models of the Meisterstück. This anniversary edition comes with a solid gold nib, displaying the number 100, along with the years 1924 and 2024. For Father’s Day, Montblanc is including express shipping for free when you buy it directly from Montblanc.

Words: Julia Pasarón

Opening image: Kaysha / Pexels

Despite having more access than ever before to information, everyone in the UK seems to be massively uneducated about sex. Erotic events company House of Vixens’ Creative Director and founder Sophie Cohen explains how we can become far better informed about our sexuality as adults. 

Navigating the subject of sexual pleasure can often feel like traversing a labyrinth of shame, rejection, embarrassment and loneliness. In our society, the subject of sexual pleasure is often shrouded in silence or distorted by taboos. It becomes even more complex when it is compounded by layers of religious or cultural shame, past traumas, fertility concerns, ageing, menopause, and issues surrounding sexual and gender identity. Yet, if we can overcome our internalised guilt and insecurity about this topic, our sexuality can offer us one of the most profound and beautiful expressions of our humanity. The question therefore is: how can we break free from these shackles and embrace our sexual selves with confidence and authenticity? 

Let’s start by trying to establish what is the essence of sexual pleasure. The Global Advisory Board for Sexual Health and Wellbeing says that sexual pleasure encompasses myriad “physical and psychological satisfactions” and is facilitated by factors such as self-determination, consent, safety, privacy, confidence, and effective communication. It emphasises the importance of social and cultural conditions upholding sexual rights, such as equality, autonomy, bodily integrity and freedom of expression. While this definition provides a framework for understanding, it feels a little dispassionate. I think we need more visceral inspiration to ignite passion in the bedroom. 

So, how do we find that inspiration to begin unravelling years of internalised shame? I work with individuals and couples to explore and untangle this thorny question and, while I can’t claim to have a one-size-fits-all solution, I have some general guidelines to set you on the right path. 

First and foremost, I would suggest looking for an answer to this question: what is your relationship with self-pleasure? Understanding and embracing your own pleasure is vital before you can start expecting your partner to do the same. I encourage people to cultivate a dedicated self-pleasure practice, exploring what brings you delight and what doesn’t. This might feel challenging, but I recommend trying to tap into the flow of your sexuality, exploring how factors such as your emotional state, hormonal fluctuations, stress levels and even the time of day influence your self-pleasure experience. Experiment with different sensations, using the variety of toys available – which are now tailored to a diverse range of bodies and genders – and quality lubricants, which can enhance your comfort and enjoyment. 

I usually suggest that people keep a journal documenting their fantasies and desires: there are no wrong answers, and no daydreams are off-limits. Delving into the depths of your fantasies will help you identify ones you could seek out in real life. Engage in a dialogue with yourself, fostering your curiosity and self-awareness. This will pave the way for open communication with your partner. Think about the words or movements you might use to tell or show them how to touch you or talk to you in the way you are picturing in your imagination.  

Communicating with your partner is essential for a healthy sexual relationship. Openness and honesty with each other can lead to great sexual satisfaction. Photo © Cottonbro / Pexels Stock Photography.

When you are exploring desires with a partner, good communication is paramount. Whether you do this using email, text, voice notes, or shared diaries, it can be fun and revelatory to establish a mode of communication that allows everyone to share freely. Share your fantasies in a manner that allows your partner to fully absorb and understand them, identifying points of alignment and potential divergence. Explore areas of compromise and creativity, seeking mutually satisfying experiences that honour each other’s boundaries and comfort levels. 

While it might not sound sexy, a little academic research in this process can be beneficial. If you’re struggling to know what to fantasise about, or how to find the words to describe something you’d like, you might find some pointers in books such as My Secret Garden – which you might enjoy reading with a partner for inspiration, or on your own while folding a corner of a page for someone else to find later. I also recommend Erika Lust’s sex education blog and Spectrum Boutique for practical advice on toys. If you’re curious about the history of sex, try Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again, which is a great solo read for anyone interested in women’s experiences, and A Curious History of Sex for a frank and amusing look at how we ended up where we are with our sexuality.  

Books can be an excellent source of information about sex and sexual behaviour and a way to initiate communication with your partner.

When you have sex, prioritise communication before, during, and afterwards, ensuring that both partners feel heard, respected and valued. Try to embrace the art of foreplay and recognise its significance in fostering arousal and intimacy. Establish safe words as a means of establishing trust and ensuring consent throughout sexual exploration. Vocalise your desires and preferences, guiding your partner towards pleasuring you in ways that bring fulfilment and satisfaction. 

Post-sex communication is just as vital. Discuss your needs and desires openly and talk about the experience. Whether it involves cuddling, conversation, or simply basking in the afterglow together, the time after sex can be a creative and mutually intimate space. Incorporate each other’s preferences into your sexual repertoire, nurturing a sense of shared understanding and appreciation. 

“In the vast expanse of human experience, few endeavours rival the exhilarating journey of sexual discovery and fulfilment.”

                 – Sophie Cohen

Ultimately, the foundation of fulfilling sexual experiences lies in a commitment to communication and pleasure, both individual and shared. Whether you’re embarking on a solo journey of self-discovery or exploring new frontiers with a partner, I recommend that you try to prioritise authenticity, empathy and understanding. Embrace the boundless potential of sexual exploration as a transformative journey of self-discovery and interpersonal connection. After all, in the vast expanse of human experience, few endeavours rival the exhilarating journey of sexual discovery and fulfilment. I have never known a better trip than getting lost in space and time with myself or a lover. So, let go of inhibition, embrace your erotic creativity, and embark on this extraordinary voyage with passion and enthusiasm.  

Words: Sophie Cohen

Sophie Cohen is the Creative Director of House of Vixens, a company dedicated to the world of erotic storytelling. She also runs the Mandrake Salon at the Mandrake Hotel in London and offers one-to-one private lessons. Find out more by emailing: info@houseofvixens.com 

Opening photo © Armstrong Brothers / Alamy Stock Photography